Tuesday, April 19, 2011

a good talkin' to...

remember when you were little and you did something that was borderline bad and your mom sat you down and gave you a 'good talkin' to'? for those of you who can relate, i had a good talkin' to the other day...it started with darren and it ended with Jesus. i was all excited about the shared list possibly coming out on darren's birthday...i just knew if it did we would be matched and i was going on and on about it. darren was listening to me but i could tell he wasn't as excited as i was. i asked him why...why aren't you seeing what could potentially be the greatest birthday present EVER?! we sat down and had a long talk about all of this and one thing he said to me stuck out in my brain, and then Jesus took it and did a work in me that only He can do. darren told me that although he was excited about the possibility of it happening that way, he knew that it would all happen when God was ready for it to happen. he went on to say that there was a danger in us (mostly me) getting so caught up in the rumors and the what-if's that we (mostly me) can miss the moment...the now we are living in. and he was so right. please know that he did not do this in an ugly manner...he was simply sharing with me how he processed the waiting. but i realized through the wisdom of my husband that i was being quite a bit obsessive over things and missing out on the now. i retreated to my secret place with Jesus and we had a long talk. I told the Lord i do not want to be so caught up in the adoption what-if's that i miss what He has for me now. the Lord assured me that it will happen...that we will be matched and will travel to China...but it will happen in His time. and dear reader, i have lived long enough to say this with great confidence...i don't want it any other way. i want His will and His timing. what peace came over me. seriously, i felt as if a huge "wait" had been lifted. and then a couple of days later i found out the shared list would not be coming out on the 18th. we have no idea when it will be released and i'm perfectly fine with that. it's the peace that passeth all understanding and i wouldn't trade it for a million bucks! in the meantime, i'm loving Jesus, loving darren and loving the NOW. and it's all because of HIM...

4 comments:

  1. I love your heart's openess to this type of correction both from your sweet DH and from Jesus. You are a great example to many of us waiting for our own personal milestones along this crazy journey! (LOA for this momma's heart)

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  2. you are a jewel roberta! i am praying for a FAST LOA for you my friend. i can't hardly wait to follow you to China...in more ways than one :)

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  3. Hey, I have recently started following your blog. Our LID is about the same. We are riding the same rollercoaster ;) We received an email from our agency last night that 'The List' goes out Monday night. I pray we both will be matched soon. Have a great Easter!

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  4. I can relate. My husband is definitely the one who has no trouble waiting on God's timing while I have all the milestones planned out with tentative dates. I think it's just the balance God wanted in our marriage, but it does sometimes drive us each a little crazy! I hope you get a call soon. Debbie from WAGI

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