Tuesday, September 14, 2010
enjoying the now
To understand why enjoying the now is such a miracle for me, I might need to explain my personality a bit. I am not patient. I want it done yesterday. I am constantly thinking about and planning the future. When I eat lunch, I am planning dinner. Relaxation is hard for me because I am thinking about what I need to do next. My mom has told me more than once that I need to stop living in the future and start enjoying the now. I thought she was out of her mind. God created me this way and this is how I am. The truth is, God created me with the desire to be productive, plan and be responsible. I, on the other hand, created a monster! I have taken the good side of those personality traits and distorted them. And I had no clue that is what I had done until now. Enter the adoption journey. I was one of those who said, " We (meaning I) will get this dossier paperwork finished in record time! It takes most people 5-7 months...we'll do it in 3." I laugh at that notion now. Here we are, about 4 months into the process and our home study report is not done. Still waiting on a little piece of paper from Tennessee. Circumstances completely out of our control. As I sit and wait, God has and continues to shed His light on truths that have helped tame my monster. Something happened to me this morning that brought such a sense of joy and peace to my heart. It was the realization that this is the day the Lord has made and I should rejoice and be glad in it. The dossier will get done. The home study report will be finished and I...well, I am going to enjoy the now...it is a gift! That's why it's called the present.