Tuesday, September 14, 2010

enjoying the now

To understand why enjoying the now is such a miracle for me, I might need to explain my personality a bit. I am not patient. I want it done yesterday. I am constantly thinking about and planning the future. When I eat lunch, I am planning dinner. Relaxation is hard for me because I am thinking about what I need to do next. My mom has told me more than once that I need to stop living in the future and start enjoying the now. I thought she was out of her mind. God created me this way and this is how I am. The truth is, God created me with the desire to be productive, plan and be responsible. I, on the other hand, created a monster! I have taken the good side of those personality traits and distorted them. And I had no clue that is what I had done until now. Enter the adoption journey. I was one of those who said, " We (meaning I) will get this dossier paperwork finished in record time! It takes most people 5-7 months...we'll do it in 3." I laugh at that notion now. Here we are, about 4 months into the process and our home study report is not done. Still waiting on a little piece of paper from Tennessee. Circumstances completely out of our control. As I sit and wait, God has and continues to shed His light on truths that have helped tame my monster. Something happened to me this morning that brought such a sense of joy and peace to my heart. It was the realization that this is the day the Lord has made and I should rejoice and be glad in it. The dossier will get done. The home study report will be finished and I...well, I am going to enjoy the now...it is a gift! That's why it's called the present.


  1. It's hard to stay in that mindset when you are on this roller coaster of emotions, but glad you were able to do it successfully today! Good luck for a speedy process...I never thought I'd be doing it a 2nd time but God has his own plans! I'm just along for the ride!



  2. As someone that struggles with the same problem, I promise you will live. It will be hard sometimes but it won't be long until you are planning your trip!!! One day at a time is all we can do but sometimes I really think I could do more :) Praying for you guys.
    Melanie Justis