Saturday, October 15, 2011
one more week
and our article 5 will be picked up. once that happens...we wait for travel approval! after that just ONE MORE STEP and we are booking flights, packing and going to get our baby!! God has been so good to us throughout this journey. it has been hard, but it has been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. it has been through the dark moments of this journey i have felt His presence so strong. i was talking to a dear friend yesterday and we both agreed that it is during those dark times we really get a grasp of who our Abba Father is. for it is in those dark times that we realize there is nothing we or anyone else can do. only He can fix it. and He does. always. without fail. it may not be the way we wanted it, but it will work out. as i look back over what we have experienced thus far, the hardest thing for me was waiting to be matched, and having to make the decision. i was expecting to be matched the first month we were LID. how foolish. i should've known better. it was in our third month of waiting that we found a file of a precious little girl that we both thought may be the one. we locked her file and had wonderful doctors look over it. everything was positive. we almost said yes. it was during that 72 hour period i cried out to God and begged Him to show me through His word she was the one. i got nothing. absolutely nothing. i couldn't figure it out. as we got closer to making our decision, i had this pain in the pit of my soul and i told darren...i can't say yes. i feel like if i do, the baby God has for us will be grieving. he agreed...he couldn't get peace either and we sadly said no. the very next month we were matched with sophia (a perfect match) and the little girl we had looked at the month before was matched with her forever family the day we released the file. GOD. that is just all GOD! i guess what i am trying to say through all of this is if you are going through something today and it is dark and lonely, keep holding on to what you know is true. He has not left you and He is at work. even when you don't feel Him. He's not being silent...He's being quiet...working behind the scenes for your good. rest on His lap. you're His kid and He loves you more than you could ever imagine. i understand that so much better now since i'm a mom.