Saturday, November 12, 2011

Going where I've never been....

Figuratively and literally.

New baby.

Foreign country.

Faith stretched so far I think it may snap in two.

I don't know how to handle all of this. But He does. And I can absolutely feel Him and His peace. It's like someone else is taking over...well it is, isn't it? When I'm weak He is strong. And boy am I glad He is cause right now I'm not.

I had our pre-travel consultation with Dr Hachen of CHOP yesterday and it was great. One thing she shared with me has helped me understand why it will be so very important to not let people hold Sophia when we first come home. Honestly, I've had trouble with that. I thought it was only for bonding purposes but she shed new light on the reason why. She told me Sophie will be shell shocked. We know that. But what I didn't realize is that for a while she will be afraid someone else is going to take her away from her new life. That hurts me to the core y'all. So we've got to do everything we can to make sure she feels secure. So please bear with us as we make the transition when we come home. It'll be hard, but it's simply what we've got to do. She's more than likely never seen people who look like us so when she sees all the new Americans in her life, it'll take time for her little mind to understand. But she God's grace she will.

Adoption is wonderful, but is also very hard. We've prepared, prayed and waited for this for years. But she has not. She has no idea what's about to happen. As glorious as Gotcha Day will be, it'll also be very hard on our daughter. We are taking her away from everything she has ever known. And although we all know it is what is best for her, she doesn't know that. The grieving may last for months, it may not. This is the reality of adoption. It's what we have to be prepared for and we are as well as we can be. When we first started this process I had no idea how hard this would be. Friends that had adopted told me, warned's not for the faint of heart. They were right. It's not. But I wouldn't change a thing. I have grown in Him through this, and have fallen more in love with Him through this as well. I've begun to understand His crazy love for us His kids! What a gift He has given me through it all. To scratch the surface of understanding His passion for us. Pure bliss.

When I am weak, He is strong. He is my Hero.


  1. So hard but so worth it. God will heal her and help you guys through. He will give you strength you didn't know you had. Praying for your journey. Physically and emotionally. Mel

  2. Amen to that last sentence!!! (and the whole paragraph before it) I pray God's strong love is very real and evident to all of you as you make Sophia your daughter. I want to say--grace, grace, grace over you, whatever you feel, over the tears, the tiredness, the fear, everything. It's all OK. (That's what I wish people would have drilled into me beforehand.) And enjoy Nanjing...we have a Jiangsu boy! :)

  3. You are a very wise Momma -trust your gut -God created her for YOU to Mother and you will know what is best for her~ Margie -never doubt those twinges in yoru heart and little messages from the Holy Spirit -he will guide you through all of this. You and Darren will know in your hearts what is best for her -do not let anyone tell you different. A Momma Bear wrote this and I loved reading this -

  4. Can't wait to follow along - you are going to do GREAT!